Do you Belong?

Do you ever feel like you just don't belong? Honestly, like deep down in your core you feel this unending desire to just get up and leave. Maybe you should be doing something else.
Perhaps you are wasting your time. Perhaps you are supposed to be doing something all together different, something you have always yearned to do.
Well, I do.
I feel this clawwing at my soul. I feel an uncomfortablness that has settled into my bones. I feel the burning desire to follow my dreams.

The Question is " What do I do about it?"

Complicated

As I sit alone in a hotel lobby, I wonder when I got so impatient. When did I allow people to bother me. How am I so sensitive to things that people do? I am annoyed, aggravated, dissapointed, frustrated and sad all at once. Mostly at myself.
I don't know when I became so intolerant of other people. Their behaviors for instance, do I project an entitled attitude? I am asking cause I am offended by this in someone else. Do I present this same type of attitude?
If so I am sorry, I am utterly offended and consumed with annoyance at the present moment.

Do I go through life like this? Not caring how I come across to others. Not sorry for any inconvenience that I may cause. No worries of how I may impact your world.

This is an obvious hurdle in my life. But what roads brought me to this? I have always been so open minded.

What's changed? Well, a lot I guess.
My beliefs, thoughts, attitude, emotions. I am constantly refocusing my attention on how I can be a better person, but if I cant even tolerate the intolerable, how can I strive to be better??

Hope

Somehow this post got deleted. I am kinda irritated about it. But what can you do.

Love Everlasting

I have always held love in such high regard on my list. I still believe in fairy tale love and that my prince is coming for me. Maybe not on a horse galloping in to sweep me off my feet in the literal sense, but in the true sense of what love means to me, He is coming and today I realized that I am not giving up.
I have broken many hearts and had mine broken as well and through it all I thought that God put me here to fix the fixer uppers and get them ready for their true loves. It seemed like I couldn't get it right.
Especially the past year when someone I really loved came into my life and sometimes no matter how great it seems, it's just not for you. Not here, not now, not in this lifetime. That was crushing to say goodbye.
So I have taken my issue up with God. I have been angry with him I've realized. (Yes I know, who gets mad at God) I will raise my hand now.
I felt that I was deserving of pure, wonderful, magical love. The kind I think of in my head, for instance the end of the movie "Pretty Woman" when Richard Gere heads back to the city in his limo standing and singing opera out of the top of the sunroof to an unsuspecting Julia Roberts his true love.)
I fantasize that my true love will be just as corny and beautiful in all its splendor.
Lately I have been hearing people saying in God's time. I have trouble seeing past Amanda's time, cause for 31 years I have been doing things on my watch or so it seems. So putting something as large as my soulmate in to the hands of God a man I can't see or touch, has been tough for me.
Until today, someone "pretty amazing" made me see the other perspective. You know the perspective we usually don't see until it's too late or its slapped you upside the head.
Well he shared with me that my past relationships in all there beauty and splendor or suckiness depending on the relationship, are God's way of preparing us for our TRUE LOVE!
It's Gods way of bringing me through the difficult aspects of love so that when I meet my soul mate, I will already know what to do or not do.
Wow imagine. All this time it was right in front of my face the most obvious of answers....
As much as "I want it now Daddy. I want the Golden Goose."
Well whining and crying will not prepare me for what I really want but waiting and listening will.
　
This is where I now wait for it is in God's hands and in his time..........